I’m neither full-time nor completely sure I’ll ever be. I think I’d like to be, but I go stretches of days where I feel more genderqueer than anything. I’m also learning more and more to never say never.
To that end, I’ve been trying to push the feminine boundaries on the weekends in my clothing and hairstyling. Due to purposefully going slow to accommodate my wife as well as the fact that I’ve just started electro, I don’t wear any makeup.
So it’s wearing more feminine earrings, or one of the few pendants or necklaces I own, along with women’s tops. As with anyone going through puberty, emancipation, inviduation, or midlife crisis, it’s a lot of experimenting.
Today’s experiment was a dark teal fuzzy hoodie I picked up at REI a couple of weeks ago paired with some turtle dangle earrings I picked up at Value Village earlier this week coupled with trying out a new hair product that’s a bit heavier that I’m used to. The net result was a very curly-haired version of me that got me a funny look from my wife after I came downstairs. She didn’t say anything, so I just went about my business for a bit before asking her if the earrings bothered her.
To her credit, she’s pretty awesome, and while it was clear she was a bit put off, she pretty much told me the earrings were either girlish or older lady than me, so they were a bit of a mis-match to my -something personage.
I’m finding the two main hurdles to picking out clothes and accessories, other than sizing issues, are colors/patterns/styles and age-appropriateness.
The color/pattern/style I’m starting to feel like I’m getting down, but selecting age-appropriate stuff is much, much harder. Cisgender women have had their entire life to build their wardrobes and add and remove items as time goes on when they just don’t fit their life any more. For a transgender woman like myself, I’m still stumped on some of these things and I’m slowly training myself to study women more my age for wardrobe cues vs. the twenty-somethings that most media pushes as the ideal.
It’s hard though, as I’m finding that there are no hard and fast rules, and I’m still struggling to figure out what my personal style is.
For the short term, I think I’ll stick to REI and the outdoorsy look, as I’ve gotten tons of compliments on my hoodie. For the long term, I’ll put those turtle earrings away until I’m an old lady. 😉