Mixed Messages

Being married and creeping into transition has its special challenges, and in my case it’s the mixed messages and emotions I keep getting from my spouse around things close to gender.

In the past week, I’ve received anger when checking in about how she’s feeling about how my gender dysphoria is impacting our relationship, sympathy about the 2-hour electrolysis session I had, a very nice compliment about a women’s top I wore on Sunday, and no comment or reaction when wearing a women’s tank top all day on Saturday.

Transition is hard on everyone, and I feel very, very lucky that she has given me the space to do what I need to do so far, but I need to keep reminding myself that this back-and-forth and mixed messaging is part of her process of coming to a spot that she can feel comfortable in.

My process of coming to a spot I feel comfortable in asks me to soak in the compliments when I get them, try not to take any anger directed at me too hard, and give her the space she needs to figure stuff out.

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About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
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