The past couple of days have been emotionally rough.
I’ve been feeling sad and now I’ve started to feel some frustration and anger.
I’m frustrated and angry that I didn’t figure out my myself over a decade ago before I remarried and had children. I’m frustrated and angry that my life is so complex. I’m frustrated and angry that my wife isn’t 100% supportive of me.
She’s also not really thought that much about what she needs emotionally or what to do next in her life or how or if I would be in her life, and that leaves me hanging for the time being. We agreed to put the plans that we had been making together for the next year on hold, so now I’m not so sure I’ll be able to leave my job when I wanted to and if we’ll be moving together or separately at the end of the year.
It’s a bloody muddle.
Then I take some deep breaths and remind myself that I wasn’t ready to find and accept myself a decade ago, that the complexity in my life is a transitory thing and that my wife does support me quite a bit and still loves me. There is peace in all those things.
I’m strong, I’m capable and I’ll be alright. The frustration and anger are a natural part of my journey. There is peace in that as well.