Peaceful Frustration and Anger

The past couple of days have been emotionally rough.

I’ve been feeling sad and now I’ve started to feel some frustration and anger.

I’m frustrated and angry that I didn’t figure out my myself over a decade ago before I remarried and had children. I’m frustrated and angry that my life is so complex. I’m frustrated and angry that my wife isn’t 100% supportive of me.

She’s also not really thought that much about what she needs emotionally or what to do next in her life or how or if I would be in her life, and that leaves me hanging for the time being. We agreed to put the plans that we had been making together for the next year on hold, so now I’m not so sure I’ll be able to leave my job when I wanted to and if we’ll be moving together or separately at the end of the year.

It’s a bloody muddle.

Then I take some deep breaths and remind myself that I wasn’t ready to find and accept myself a decade ago, that the complexity in my life is a transitory thing and that my wife does support me quite a bit and still loves me. There is peace in all those things.

I’m strong, I’m capable and I’ll be alright. The frustration and anger are a natural part of my journey. There is peace in that as well.

Advertisements

About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in coming out, family, observations, self-acceptance. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Peaceful Frustration and Anger

  1. Elizabeth says:

    I wanted to say something on your last blog post, but couldn't think of anything that I could offer. Likewise, I think you've said, yourself, everything that could be said.

    I really don't have the experience or wisdom to offer you any sage advice, I simply want to let you know that I'm listening to you, and that I think of you and hope all will be well.

    With so much of my heart,
    E.

    Like

  2. Johanie says:

    Hang in there, it's though but you'll make it thru!

    Johanie

    Like

  3. Natasha says:

    Like Elizabeth, I wanted to post on your last blog as well. But I just don't know what to say. I can't offer any advice because my own situation is so different to yours and don't know how to help you.

    Just keep going. That's my only advice, you seem so strong, and I'm amazed and impressed that you're dealing with things as well as you are.

    And you're right about being strong and capable : ) Keep moving forward and things will be okay.

    Take Care,
    Tasha xx

    Like

  4. Jenn Ifer says:

    E, J & N,

    Thank you for letting me know you're listening – it's tremendously supportive and I really appreciate it.

    Jenn

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s