Last week’s dose: 2mg/day estradiol.
Physical: Continued nipple tenderness along with sporadic tingling feelings in my breast area. Something’s growing! Visually, I think the breast area is a bit larger, but I’ve been remiss in finding my tailor’s tape and measuring. I’ll see if I can hunt that down and start logging that data.
My skin is softer now.
Mental: Most definitely feeling more mellow in general and that is coupled with an increased ability to shrug off stuff that makes me depressed or sad more quickly.
After asking on Twitter how long my nipples might be sensitive, some other women said their experience was that it might be up to a few years. This got me thinking about how the course I’m on is leading to permanent body modification in the next few weeks and months. Put indelicately, it’s most definitely a “shit or get off the pot” decision to continue medication. I keep taking my pills, but I’m spending a lot of mental energy thinking this through and self-checking that this is the path that feels right and will lead me to the most personal happiness.
Not for the first time, I wonder if I’m driving the physical change to make the mental change that much easier on myself. The logic here is that if I’m growing breasts, then I must be trans and that it’s then that much easier to give myself permission to keep going.
Consciousness and self-awareness is so confusing sometimes, but it has nothing on the unconscious and self-deception! ;-p