Why I Blog

To get stuff out of my head.

If you’re trans like me, there can be a lot to figure out in life and I’ve always found it helpful and sometimes cathartic to write stuff down. It can be a place to park thoughts and feelings when I’m feeling overwhelmed and provides a way whereby I can come back later and engage with it all when I have the time and fortitude.

To help spot where I tend to get stuck.

I’ve been journaling off and on now for over twenty years, and the ability to go back and re-read about events in my life and what my mental state was at the time has been very valuable for me. I’ve been able to spot repeated mistakes and avoid repeating them yet again and also evaluate if I’m still on course for realizing my hopes and dreams.

To provide perspective.

Spoken word is generally ephemeral, but the written word tends to endure. The personal history that I’ve been able to relate here would be much thinner had I not written stuff down in the past. Having the long view of the arc of my life has been immensely helpful as I’ve engaged with this transition, as it has provided evidence of the persistence of my feelings to myself that I might have otherwise suppressed and forgotten about.

To be honest with myself.

It’s so much harder to hide from something I’ve written than something I’ve spoken. I’m forced to confront the honesty of my words as I type them and place them here in plain sight of the world.

To help others.

All of us are on our own individual journeys, but we share a common experience. If there’s an experience I can share that brings greater joy, helps avoid a pitfall or demystifies what heretofore was hidden to others, I’ll feel like I’ve done my part to help make what can be a hard journey that much easier.

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About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
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