What shirt should I wear today?
Well, who’s getting dressed?
Oh christ, I don’t need this fucking question today. Go away.
No. Deal with me at your peril.
Sorry, you’re stuck with me for the time being.
(Sigh) OK, let’s do this.
Let’s go for the professional look, says the blue oxford.
Do I have a meeting?
Pick me! Pick me! says the says the blue v-neck with sparkles.
Oh, wouldn’t you be fun! I’d love to, but I’m not quite ready for that today. So sorry.
I’ve been missing you since you bought me.
Likewise. Someday, my dear, someday.
Everything’s good with my bold, yellow looks, says the button-up.
Mmm, I’m not so interested in drawing attention to myself today, thanks.
I’m casual, comfy and quiet, says the t-shirt.
Now you’re a possibility! (Pulls over head.) Um, did you shrink?
Er, not that I’m aware of. Have you gained weight?
Ah, no. Some of it has just moved around a bit and–oh!
(Goes back in drawer. Muffled.) Maybe a bra would help?
Hey, how about us? asks the lacy, ivory camisole and pink tie-dyed hoodie. We make a cute combo!
OMG, I love you two together! But I have to go to work today.
Well…it’s not you…it’s me.
Hey friend, I’m here for you, says the black short-sleeved, thick polo.
Oh yeah – you’re a good fallback!
Thanks for the damned praise, bitch.
Now, now. (Walks to mirror.) Crap. I can’t decide if I’m OK with looking butch today or not.
There really isn’t any other choice, is there?
No. You might want to get some help though. You’re talking to your clothes.