Searching for Sunshine

This past week has been very rough. How rough?

  • My mom was diagnosed with coronary heart disease and needs a triple bypass in the next week or so
  • My marriage appears headed towards dissolution since it looks like I’m finally going to transition
  • I had to talk to my brother about my mom
  • My team at work was re-organized and I have a new manager
  • One of my kids has been acting out and has been really challenging to deal with
  • I had a treadmill stress test and calcium CT scan to follow up on previous chest pain and exclude anything systemic (now more important given my mom’s diagnoses)
  • Our clothes dryer is broken, making the routine chore of laundry an exceptionally annoying chore
  • I caught a head cold
  • I sought a second opinion from another gender counselor and have finally come to the conclusion that transition really seems like the only path forward for me
Out of all of this, I’m searching hard for the bright spots.
I love my kids fiercely. I love my wife and she loves me. I have a good job. I have great health care. While my brother doesn’t agree with what I’m doing gender-wise, he did say he “had my back.” I came out to an aunt last night and she was very supportive, offering any support she could. I have a future that’s mine to make.

I just need to keep breathing.


About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in coming out, family, health, healthcare, observations. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Searching for Sunshine

  1. Debra says:

    *hugs*. Yes it's so very hard sometimes.

    I don't know if you've read my “It's worth it” post but even after I transitioned, I was met with roadblocks and piles of hurt. It's easier for some than others. I hope you're able to get through all of it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.