Puberty the third time is rough. Granted, I only made it about six months into my second, but I’m finding the re-entry back into testosterone much rockier than my foray into estrogen.

I have a shorter temper. I feel angry a lot. My depression is back with a vengeance at times. I’m breaking out like the first time around in my teens and it sucks big-time. I’m not sleeping well. Sometimes things just feel hopeless and that I’ve destroyed my marriage and stuck myself in no-(wo)man’s land and am an idiot to have done so.

The flip side is that I feel more confident in myself. I’m worrying less about what people think of me. My libido is ramping back up but in a more manageable way than before. I’m kicking ass at work. I have moments where I think things will work out just fine, no matter what. I like more parts of my body now.

I bounce back and forth within the hour sometimes. Bleah.

It has to mellow out at some point, right?


About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in HRT, observations, self-acceptance and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Oscillations

  1. Johanie says:

    Things WILL work out just fin! And it'll mellow down at some point 😉

    Hang in there



  2. Jenn Ifer says:

    Thanks, Johanie! I'm hanging about…waiting.

    xx J


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