The Last Year

About a year ago I deleted my Twitter account and shut down my blog.

Checking my own flowchart, I ended up in the family/job bucket and mostly re-closeted. It sucked. I was unhappy.

And in the intervening year, a lot happened.

I moved. One of my children was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. I quit my job and was subsequently re-hired a few months later.

I was able to continue to incorporate more women’s clothing into my regular life. But I still wasn’t happy. I saw a therapist who re-diagnosed my gender dysphoria and told me that if I didn’t address it, the anger and depression I was feeling probably wouldn’t go away. I  re-started electrolysis, which made me happier, but I still wasn’t happy overall.

After thinking about it, I went back to my gender therapist for the first time in two years last fall and told her I was thinking about starting to take hormones again. I had re-read my HRT posts and noticed that while that was also a crazy and stressful time in my life, I liked what the hormones did for me.

The physical changes. The mental shift.

So, after long deliberation, I decided to start taking hormones again the other week and re-start my journey down the transition path. I’m not quite sure what the ultimate destination is yet, but I’m happy that I’m moving again.

But isn’t that what transition is all about anyway? The journey and the discovery of the destination?

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About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in coming out, family, hair removal, HRT, mental health, observations, personal history, self-acceptance and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Last Year

  1. Pingback: Two years of HRT and the poetry of love | Becoming Me

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