HRT Week 4 Review

[Looking for information about male to female dosing and effects? Read my Brief Overview of Feminizing Hormones post.]

Week: 4 

Dose: 2mg/day estradiol

Weight: 181 lbs.

Physical: Continued achy to painful breast area at times. Size seems to continue to be increasing, with the breast buds feeling enlarged. Some testicular discomfort ranging from sharp pains to aches. My skin is starting to feel softer, which I’m loving. Libido continues to decrease.

Emotional: I’ve been feeling a bit edgy lately, but I’ve also been working on shipping a project at work that had a lot if stress wrapped around it. I also haven’t been sleeping well, and that makes me cranky. A creeping anxiety has been stalking me and I think it might be about transition. It comes from two opposite directions: feeling like things are moving too quickly and that things aren’t going fast enough.

My counselor tells me to relax and enjoy the ride, but some moments I find that hard to do since I’m heading off into the personal unknown here.

My beard is also driving me nuts. I haven’t been able to have any electrolysis in three weeks due to work commitments, so that’s been super-frustrating. I’m starting to contemplate a transition in August, but I’m not sure my beard will be gone enough by then. I’ve been looking into intensive electrolysis again and hoping I can scrape the money and time together to make that happen.

My wife continues to tell me that she’s committed to staying with me as long as she can, but that’s a far cry from being supportive. My fears are that she’s planning to leave me. I think that feeds my anxiety.

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About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
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