[Looking for information about male to female hormone replacement therapy dosing and effects? Read my Brief Overview of Feminizing Hormones post.]
Dose: 3 mg/day estradiol
Weight: 187 lbs.
Physical: I’m feeling the increase in dosage by a greater “heavy” feeling in the chest area and I definitely get twinges in the nipple area when thinking about how my body is changing or when looking at and feeling envious of another woman who I find attractive.
Emotional: I continue to stress eat, which is pushing my weight up, which stresses me out, which makes me eat more…
Seriously though, I do need to find some way to reduce my stress level. I have a punishing commute to a demanding job and that’s emerged as a top stressor right now. Finding a new job feels a bit overwhelming at the moment though. I think the rejection from my trip to California wounded my ego more deeply that I care to admit. On the upside at work, I have solid employment and I have feedback that I’m doing very well.
My relationship with my wife seems to be holding steady for the moment, so that’s okay for now. I still have fears that my wife is going to want to leave me as my hormones kick in in earnest again; a repeat of the pattern we went through last time.
I’m really trying to just take things day by day, but I’m a person that likes to have a plan for the future, so it’s an uncomfortable space to be in.
So overall, I’m hanging in there. One thing I notice this time around compared to last is that my emotional keel feels more stable. I haven’t had any crying jags (yet?), even though I feel like I need a good cry now and then. Hopefully I’m not bottling up my feelings too much.