[Looking for information about male to female hormone replacement therapy dosing and effects? Read my Brief Overview of Feminizing Hormones post.]
Dose: 5 mg/day estradiol
Weight: 180 lbs.
Physical: As noted below, the changes on my chest are getting harder to disguise. I haven’t been sleeping well.
Emotional: With attending to family business, I missed a dose the other day and I’ve been running on low sleep. This brought a dip in my mood; OK, I fell into a canyon.
Again I felt those hopeless feelings of doubt and dread. Transition felt like a cruel joke to remind me of what I’m not and will never truly be. I am myself but I am neither man nor woman. A bit of sleep and back on the meds and I feel better, but I know those feelings still lurk below the surface. Thanks to those of you that reached out to me on Twitter in the darkest hours, I really appreciate it.
Getting dressed for work is becoming harder and harder. It’s a game of, “What can I wear that doesn’t make my boobs look prominent?” The weather here isn’t helping. It’s still too early to retreat into large sweaters.
I asked my wife last night what’s up with us and she just replied that she’s hanging. Whatever that means. I’m sure that I want and deserve more, so I’m not really sure where we go from here.