How to tell the kids?

It’s time to tell my kids I’m trans and I could use some help.

I’ve been on hormones for almost a year and I’m looking at social transition in the Spring or Summer, and my wife and I are thinking of telling them over this Winter break so they have some time to digest it.

They’re 5 and 8, so I need to keep it fairly basic. My concise message is this:

I love you, and I will always love you. I’m going to be changing next year, and I want you to know that no matter how I change, I will love you.

I’m going to change from being a boy to being a girl. I’ll wear girl clothes and makeup and look more and more like a girl next year.

I’m changing to be happier. I’ve always thought that I would be happier as a girl, so that’s what I’m going to do.

I’ll still be your parent and I’m not going anywhere. I will be here to take care of you and love you.

Are there any other salient points you think I should mention? I don’t want to overload them and expect that there will be future conversations about things like my new name, how to talk to other people about it, etc. I also expect that they’ll have some questions during/after this.

Any suggestions, stories, or pointers to resources would be most appreciated!



About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in coming out, family and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to How to tell the kids?

  1. janitorqueer says:

    I think the simpler, the better, and then to take their lead on how they’re processing it from there. I think your points cover it!
    Here’s a great resource, a trans parent’s blog – he has kids around the same age!


  2. Pingback: How I Told My Kids I Was Trans | Becoming Me

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