Tonight was a date night with my wife, or as she finally referred to me in frustration and anger, a really good friend.
I knew that something like this was coming, but it still did not lessen the sting. Somewhere in the last week she stopped kissing me–even on the cheek–her hugs have been perfunctory, and where last week she held my hand when we went out, she twice declined tonight.
She’s angry at me. Angry that my transition has taken her husband away and the dreams she had of her and him together in the future. I understand and appreciate that. It still makes me sad.
Where I’m changing, my love and desire for her has not waned, and it’s a bitter pill to swallow that hers has changed and lessened to the point of borderline disgust.
I wish that things were, or even could be, different, but they are not and will not.