Tonight I helped my wife take a load of things to her new apartment and the absurdity of the situation struck me.

Before we married, I joked that I would divorce her if she became obese. Setting aside the fat shaming and body shape judgement, it was a statement on my part that I was expecting to have an active partner.

As I stood in the apartment she was moving into to move away from me, I found myself considering the fact that she was leaving me for the shape of my body, not the quality of its contents.

The irony was how hurt she said she’d felt after my poor and unkind joke and how she said she’d never consider leaving me for anything about my body.

Touché universe, touché.

Mix in the fact that I had been working up the past few years to leave her due to her complete unwillingness to address her substance abuse problems, and I could only shake my head.

She’s leaving me because I’m no longer able to be the shadow that I used to be as I work to realize the parts of me I’ve hidden for so long and I’d be leaving her because she’s a shadow of what she used to be due to the substance abuse problems she’s unwilling to address and works very hard to hide from others.


About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in divorce, family, personal history, random, transition and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Absurdity

  1. Nour S says:

    (((hugs))) bless you my dear ..


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