Transition experiences: After not feeling comfortable using the bathroom at one store I was at, I drove a bit to use the ladies room at a grocery store without incident. I have been trying to time things when I use women’s rooms to avoid running into other women and I look forward to the day that I don’t worry about it, but this was the first time I’d skipped on one place and held it to go to another.
As a housewarming gift I bought my wife some tools, since she doesn’t have any, and the checker, a woman, commented on the set. I found myself saying that a friend of mine was leaving her husband and I was getting the tools for her. It was odd.
Since my divorce paperwork hasn’t been filed yet, I can’t start the clock on my transition, and it’s really starting to frustrate me.
Emotional: It’s been another challenging week.
I took last week off between jobs, but my youngest came down sick and I only ended up getting one day to myself, which put a big dent in the things I had hoped to get done. I also had to skip my electrolysis session due to poor combined planning between my wife and I, and that left me down.
My wife’s slow-motion move is hard on everyone involved. She’s been low-energy and depressed and has only been moving some random things here and there. We can both see that she doesn’t want to move and it’s impacting her ability to move on. Meanwhile, the house is a strange mix of pictures missing but lots of her other stuff still where it’s been for the past couple of weeks. I even packed stuff for her to help move things along. Our youngest asked the other day, ‘When are we all going to move back in together [after mom moves out]?’ 😦
I started my new job on Monday and feel like I’ve been thrown into the deep end, so my impostor syndrome has been flaring up. I did meet with a teammate to provide some advice on a project they were working on and was able to quickly generate a huge amount of feedback and that made me feel like I was on more solid ground. Still, it’s been overwhelming in some ways and now that I’ve fallen sick, I feel like I’m in a bit of a hole.
Physical: I’m a bit of a wreck. Saturday I cracked my head on my aquarium and I think I gave myself a mild concussion, which has left me foggy in the brain. Monday my wife got me take-out from the local Mexican restaurant and I think it gave me food poisoning. Yesterday and today I feel like crap and after going to the clinic, it seems I’m fighting the flu. Mostly, I feel terrible.
Weight: 175 lbs.
Dose: 6 mg/day estradiol via tablets
[Looking for detailed information about male to female hormone replacement therapy dosing and effects? Read my Brief Overview of Feminizing Hormones post. You might also be interested in The Transwoman’s Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Tracking Chart I created.]