Transition experiences: Was ‘Young lady’-ed by a street solicitor seeking donations.
A salon I stopped by to pick up a hair care product at first gendered me female and then shifted to, “Can you help him…”
Both times were mid-week guy mode. I think it’s the hair and the clothes.
Emotional: I’ve been trying to work on the calming, deep breathing exercises.
My wife finally decided on moving out this past Friday after talking about it for a couple of weeks. This made it both anticipated and a snap decision. Given her deep ambivalence about moving, I found myself helping her packing along, going drawer by drawer and cabinet by cabinet in the kitchen, holding items aloft and asking, ‘Do you want this? How about this?’ as I packed them into boxes for her. All told, I’m pretty sure I packed more stuff for her than she did.
Given the whirlwind nature of it, there are still many small things left about and the house was a disheveled shambles that I’m still putting aright.
We’re doing joint custody and this week was also my week with the kids and it’s been nutso. The, ‘Where is the goddamn “x” gotten to? Oh yeah, I need a new “x” because “x” is now gone,’ and the ‘When is mom coming home?’ moments, I’ve been frazzled and not sleeping well, which of course makes me short-tempered at home with demanding kids and a zombie at work.
Along the way I over-committed to help some family friends this past and coming weekend for Halloween prep, mostly to keep myself busy and distracted, (like I don’t have enough to do right now!) but it did work for the kids since my and their kids play well together.
I’ve slept better the past couple of nights, picked up the house somewhat, purchased some replacement items, and I’m starting to feel more together in things. I think the tears will come next week when it’s just me all by my lonely in the house.
In the meantime, my next large priority is to get childcare sorted, since I’m still relying on my wife to help out until I get home. That’s untenable for the long haul. After that, getting the divorce filed as my wife is dragging her feet and I so want to move on.
But the future, it’s finally out there again! The kids are resilient and will make it through, I have a great job, and transition is finally, finally on the horizon.
Physical: Stress eating, poor sleep, and just stress in general had made my body ache and pop some cold sores. Ugh.
Weight: 175 lbs.
Dose: 6 mg/day estradiol via tablets
[Looking for detailed information about male to female hormone replacement therapy dosing and effects? Read my Brief Overview of Feminizing Hormones post. You might also be interested in The Transwoman’s Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Tracking Chart I created.]