Transition Experiences: Took my kids to a climbing gym on Sunday and registered myself as Heather. The instructor referred to me as the kids’ mom twice, and neither one of them corrected him, so that was a nice win to relish.
My mom left me a voicemail that began with, ‘Hi, honey…’ she’s never called me that before, so it might be a transitory endearment before she gets to Heather.
Every week it gets harder to get dressed for work. I feel more a fiction as a guy as time goes on and I’m seriously starting to wonder if I really need to wait on a legal name change to transition at work. I understand now how some people set a date for transition and then move it up.
Emotional: I have been having a hard time getting back into the swing of things at work and at home. My rhythm was off after having the kids over the weekend before last, so I didn’t get as much housework and personal stuff done as I would have liked, so when it came time to take them again this past Thursday, I felt and still do feel behind the curve.
Work’s been stressful with yearly planning, and since it’s my first time through, I keep bumping into the process and expectations, and I’m pretty much feeling like a complete fuckup in the expectations department. I’m frustrated in that what needs to happen is readily apparent to me and that I haven’t been able to crack the code to communicate the prioritization of work, and instead I keep getting randomized by larger processes and my boss.
My special needs older kid has been all kinds of special the past few weeks. They’ve always had challenges post-Christmas break, but this one has been a doozy and just when things were starting to mellow out again, our cat went missing Friday night and hasn’t come back. We all know he’s probably coyote food and not coming back, but both kids are keeping hopes up that he’s just hiding. It’s heartbreaking on so many levels and it’s contributed to my unease since Friday night.
And then there was David Bowie’s death. I was never a big fan of his music, but I deeply respected his artistry and ability to constantly reinvent himself and stay relevant. It’s a shame when lights like that go dark.
Physical: When will I sleep well again? Is this from taking estrogen in the evening?
Weight: 178 lbs.
Dose: 6 mg/day estradiol via tablets, split into AM/PM doses of 3mg/each.
[Looking for detailed information about male to female hormone replacement therapy dosing and effects? Read my Brief Overview of Feminizing Hormones post. You might also be interested in The Trans Woman’s Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Tracking Chart I created.]