Coming out letter for work

This is the second-to-last coming out letter I’ll send; the last will be a blog post from my guy blog that will flow to Facebook, LinkedIn, and my guy Twitter accounts.

I’m happy with this version. I think it’s brief, clear, and to the point at 256 words.

I’ll be giving a copy to my manager this afternoon when I tell him the news of my transition. Almost done and almost there!

Dear friends and colleagues,

I have some news to share — I am transgender. On April 2, 2016, I will change my name to Heather, will be referred to by that name and the female pronouns of she, her, and hers, and transition to living my life as a woman.

Some of you have seen this movie before! For those newer to [company], this means that when I return to work April 11 after Spring Break with my kids, you’ll notice that my name will have changed in our computer systems, I’ll have a new badge, use the women’s bathroom, and be wearing women’s attire.

Using my new name and pronouns may take some getting used to, so don’t worry too much about goofs at first and please take any corrections from me as gentle reminders instead of rebukes.

For the past several months I have been living as Heather outside of work and it has brought me tremendous relief from lifelong anxiety and depression along with mental breathing room I didn’t even know I had. Based on what other transgender people report, I expect this relief to increase, be permanent, and allow me to focus more on work instead of compartmentalizing my work life like I have been.

If you have questions about this change I’d love to grab coffee, lunch, or a drink and talk. If you’re uncomfortable discussing anything with me directly, please talk to our HR Business Partner, [person] or your manager.

Warm regards,


About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in coming out, observations, personal history, transition, work and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Coming out letter for work

  1. croftale says:

    Thank you for sharing. That is beautiful in its simplicity. I have the tendency to overexplain things. You ask the time, I tell you how to build a watch. I think I may have to model my letter somewhat akin to yours. I am following closely behind. I have hit the major milestone that I wanted to get by and now will start living more and more as Emma. I had plans on transitioning in September but my wife said there is no need to wait over summer, I have waited too long. She is taking the lead on some things. She especially wants to tell my family so that they see that she supports and loves me. She will offer that they are welcome to stay in our lives, or they can move on, their choice.
    Thank you for blazing the trail.

    Liked by 1 person

    • cistotrans says:

      Hi Emma, thank you!

      Feel free to borrow or steal as much as you want for your own letter(s). I hope that you are moving at your own pace and that you are comfortable with it, but I also recognize that sometimes we a need a bit of a kick to get moving sometimes.



  2. Pingback: HRT Week 112 Review | Becoming Me

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