Transition Experiences: The news here for the week was that I wore a skirt to work for the first time Tuesday. It was a non-event. I was late to work due to a kid issue so I really wasn’t there all that much time, but it felt good to open up my wardrobe choices more.
Memorial day I took the kids to an outdoor swimming pool my ex joined and that drove a fair bit of dysphoria for me. Firstly I wasn’t feeling too well stomach-wise, so that set the general tone for me. Add in the fact that I’m overweight right now that creates bulges in other places that I don’t want them and that I don’t have a real swimsuit, and I felt really, really out-of-place.
I do have an old bikini top that’s serviceable, the bottom wore out long ago, and a workout top that I threw on over it and some board shorts from my past life. They didn’t match, I looked roly-poly, and the shorts were guy shorts. It was tough to sit there and look at other women in their suits and bikinis and feel like I was coming up short and feeling like an odd duck. On my shopping list now is a one-piece swimsuit with a swim skirt, a generous coverage bikini, and a swim coverup.
Emotional: I did have one big emotional event that I’ll cover in another post, but other than that, it’s been the steady feeling of burnout at work and coming to the realization that I should find a different type of job to do. I like my employer so I’m hoping for a lateral move, but I’ll have to dig out of the hole I’m in first.
The weather has changed to sunny and I’m hopeful that will help lift my spirits and give me the oomph to get the work thing sorted.
Physical: Months overdue, I finally got my hormone levels checked again while I’m in the mostly normal range, I was a bit low on estrogen and my testosterone levels have crept up a bit, so I’ve upped my dose to 8mg/day estradiol. Hopefully that’ll do the trick. I asked the LNP about injectables, and she said my doctor recommends injections when 8mg/day tablets aren’t doing the trick. This is something that I’ll need to monitor going forward.
I was at the doctor’s office for my lingering cough, and it’s residual bronchitis, which I got an inhaler and a cough suppressant for. They seem to be helping a bit. I’ve also had some sort of intestinal/stomach thing going on that has been really uncomfortable. I suspect it’s my intestinal tract resetting after the antibiotics I took a couple of weeks back.
My weight and feeling crappy finally got to me and I changed my diet Saturday dramatically to a paleo one, and I’ve been gnawing my way through fruits, nuts, berries, veggies, and protein. Cutting sugar has been the hardest for me since I have a huge sweet tooth. I’ve also given up alcohol, except for 2/3 of a glass of red wine that I had last night. It’s working, as I’ve already shed quite a few pounds. I’m hoping to get back to running this weekend to accelerate the weight loss and get some tone back. I want to wear that bikini I’m planning on buying! 🙂
Weight: 177 lbs.
Dose: 8 mg/day estradiol via tablets, split into AM/PM doses of 4mg/4mg.
[Looking for detailed information about male to female hormone replacement therapy dosing and effects? Read my Brief Overview of Feminizing Hormones post. You might also be interested in The Trans Woman’s Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Tracking Chart I created.]