It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Everything I’ve been trying to write as of late has been coming out too clever by half, so this is a back-to-basics update.
January 24th my youngest kid came down with the flu, and then my eldest succumbed on the 26th, and then it took me down on the 28th. This interrupted the regular weekly transfer of the kids between households on Thursdays, and the ex and I agreed to hold off until they were fever-free. My youngest transferred this past Sunday and my eldest Tuesday. While I’m past the worst of the flu, I’m still coughing and a secondary head cold has taken up residence.
So for the past ten days I’ve been nursing my kids and then myself, and it wasn’t until today that I left my property to do some grocery shopping and to get the hell out of the house for a change of scene. Just doing that turned out to be overdoing it, and I’ve spent tonight on the couch streaming TV.
The other reason I went out was to pick up some medication for my kid, because the ex ran out, and as almost de rigueur for her, she only realized when she ran out. How she can’t keep track of a critical maintenance medication for him is beyond me. It also angers me since I’m on the hook for medical stuff for the kids and it forces me to scramble when she drops the ball.
And in the background of all this is, of course, the shitshow that is the new presidential administration. While they have issued a statement saying they’ll support Obama’s Executive Order providing federal-level gender identity protections for federal employees and contractors, it’s clear that something is in the works to fuck us over, probably modeled on existing state laws that allow pharmacists to refuse to fill emergency contraceptives through a ‘conscience clause’.
Post-inauguration, I stepped back from Twitter because it was getting a bit overwhelming being tapped into the digital vein. Thank you to everyone who has reached out, I really appreciate it. I’m not entirely gone, but I’m purposefully being much, much quieter than normal so that I can focus on my own stuff for a bit.
I did something similar in 2013, when I took a whole month off and then came away with some insights. What I notice is that my first break was also in January and it might be that the holiday/immediate post-holiday emotional roller coaster myself and many other trans people tend to end up on during this period is just too much for me to absorb.
Yesterday marked ten months post full-time social transition and I’m coming up on three years of HRT on the 6th. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my first date with my ex. I suppose I should remove that reminder from my phone. Time just keeps slipping on by.
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