Week 172 – What day is it?

I think I’m two weeks behind on posts. That’s my life right now.

The clock tells me the time and I think, ‘I have plenty of time to get to the next task.’

I finish what I’m doing and, ‘Poof!’ an extra hour or two has somehow disappeared.

‘Shit!’ I think, ‘I’ll have to crank on that task, because I have three others to do today!’

The task takes me much longer than it should. ‘Fuck!’ I say to myself, ‘Ran out of time for those other things I need to do. Guess I’ll do them tomorrow.’

Tomorrow comes and, ‘I should mow the lawn while the weather is nice,’ and three hours and six miles trudged later, I’m sweaty, gross, and tired.

‘I’ll pay the bills after I get out of the shower,’ I tell myself.

An hour later it’s, ‘Shit! Shit! Shit! I’m going to be late to pick up the kids from school!’

Then I rush to get them and when we get home I point them towards homework while I do the dishes I’ve been ignoring for a couple of days so I have space to cook dinner. My foot is splashed with water halfway through the scrubbing, and then I’m frantically pulling stuff out from under the sink to find the leak.

It was where the U-bend couples with the sink drain. It leaked and overflowed the small metal bowl I put below it when I replaced the sink a few months back because now and then it dripped.

With wet towels and the stuff that collects under kitchen sinks all over the floor and the dishes half-done, I’m deciding what my next step is when, ‘I’m really hungry,’ comes pitifully from the mouth of my babe.

Realizing the kid needs to eat, we pile into the car for the grocery store and then they decide once we get there they don’t want what we came to get and time is ticking by and my other kid’s ADHD medicine is wearing off and they’re starting to bounce around like a hummingbird on crack and I’m, ‘Fine. Get what you want. I have to get other groceries anyway. Come find me.’

They don’t have the wax paper bags I use to put my eldest’s half-sandwich in for lunch so I sigh and find the sour cream and the kids find me and pelt me with questions so fast I’m stunned like I’m at my own stoning after I’ve blasphemed. Herding my cats towards the checkout register, it’s like everyone in my town is here to buy groceries at the same so I steer them to a different set of registers and the lines are still long but I spy one that’s moving faster than the others and the hummingbird darts away to the food sample table at the back of the store.

I want to strangle them but I don’t want to lose my place in line so I wait, pay, and head to the car.

‘What about [sibling’s name]?’ My youngest asks.

‘They can walk home or meet us at the car.’

They come skipping out of the store as I unlock the car. We get home and I juggle silverware and plates for them and only then do I realize I didn’t get anything for myself in all the hubbub. At this point I’d settle for a liquid dinner but there’s no alcohol in the house.

I heat up some soup and let the kids watch TV while I eat. Then I fix the sink, accidentally splashing myself and the skirt I’m wearing. It’s a sports skirt, so I’m not freaked about it and then I remember riding my bike earlier while wearing it and realizing that was the first tim I’d ridden a bike while wearing a skirt and it makes me smile.

Turns out I had the compression fitting pointing the wrong direction. I’m happy I’ve fixed the sink, but then I have to get the fan out to dry under the sink and then it’s bedtime for the kids, and where did the day go?

©Heather Coldstream

Please consider supporting my writing by buying one of my poetry collections from the Kindle store. Thank you!

2016: Poems from a Year of Change

Uncertain: Poems About Gender Transition


About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in family, gender transition, LGBT, transgender and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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