You Should Still Transition

Last year I wrote a post called You Should Transition. I believe that even with all the negative shit happening for trans people right now, you should still transition.


Because you’re suffering from gender dysphoria and it won’t get any better unless you transition. You’ll suffer alone and not have a community to help you keep it together.

You’ll watch from the sidelines as things at first get worse and then they’ll get better. While things get worse, your fear of being outed will grow and it will make your life harder. It will be harder because the stakes for trans people will be higher.

When things hit the lowest point before they start getting better, you may feel hopeless. It will seem like you’re permanently trapped in the gender assigned to you because the entire world around you is aligned to keep you where you are.

Then the tide will turn.

It will be hard to tell at first. It takes time for things to work through the system. But like spring flowers, they’ll be a few early blooms in the gloom before a riot of color erupts in the sunshine.

Feeling more free to start to transition then, you may come to realize that facing the fears from within is a bigger challenge than facing the fears from without, and you may kick yourself for waiting to confront those fears.

You should still transition, because the world has always been a mixture and cycle of shit and beauty, and waiting for beauty to come around again before you transition means waiting, and every day you wait is one less day to live wholly.

Live whole. Transition.

©Heather Coldstream

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2016: Poems from a Year of Change

Uncertain: Poems About Gender Transition

About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in coming out, gender transition, LGBT, opinion, transgender, transition and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to You Should Still Transition

  1. Do you understand world of difference between Transitioning for Whites/Europeans and People of Color, particularly African-Americans of the US and South American national like Brazil?

    I stopped trying to find support in Support Groups and Group Therapy because nationwide Licensed Social Workers, Psychologists, Psychiatrists say things like, “We focus on personal issues related to transition, not political issues like race.” Dr. Corey Yaeger

    I’ve lost count of the hundreds of White Trans Women who have angrily gotten in my face to tell me they are sick of hearing how hard it is for ‘You people’, transition is just as hard if you are White.

    No, it isn’t the same and unless your life depends on it don’t transition unless you can count on White or Light Privilege to soften the blow.


    • cistotrans says:


      Thank you for reading and for your feedback, I appreciate it.

      I’m a white lady from Seattle, so I do not have the lived experience of TWOC. I try to be cognizant of my privileges and the intersectionality that works to make everything harder for people of color and those with less money and education. Sometimes I think I do ok with that and other times not.

      I have not experienced the structural barriers people of color experience surrounding transition.

      I hear you on the counselors. I wrote a post about an adjacent issue a while back:

      What I’ve observed that I have had in common with all trans people is the initial isolation and loneliness, then the realization that there are other people out there like me, and then the struggle to move towards transition, even if that’s not possible for a variety of reasons.

      In my opinion, transition is a matter of life or death and I advocate for a very broad definition of transition, one that has at its core the self-acceptance that one is trans and doing whatever is possible to embrace and nurture that within whatever self- or externally-imposed limitations exist. It doesn’t mean being heedless to lived reality and exposing oneself to life-threatening violence ‘just because’. It means doing what one can and being intentional about it vs. holding it in and then exploding, which I think can cause more problems than it solves in the short-term.

      ❤ Heather


  2. Sorry for the typo in Dr. Cori Yaeger.


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