Moonlight over the Salish Sea in Seattle

It rained last night, but now it is mostly clear, and the moon walks with me to the bus stop in the pre-dawn, dancing between still-dripping Douglas fir boughs to drop moonbeams between shadowy places. Stars add their twinklings to the celestial show. All of them are my remote companions on their own journeys towards eventual transformations small and large. I meditate on the seemingly universal and eternal nature of change.

Nothing changes, then everything changes, then nothing changes again. I’m in a big everything changes cycle now.

My work, my relationship to myself, the shape of my body, my relationships to others—they’re all changing around. Underneath it all, the catalytic substrate I worked so hard to build will remain after all those changes. Then nothing will change for a while as I rest.

I’ll use that time to consider tearing it down or modifying it for the next round of change. But that’s the future.

The now is moonlight, starlight, dripping boughs, and the beginning of the last leg of a journey I started ages ago.

©Heather Coldstream

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2016: Poems from a Year of Change

Uncertain: Poems About Gender Transition


About cistotrans

A Seattle-area trans woman seeking a happy spot to stay at along the path of transition.
This entry was posted in gender transition, LGBT, personal history, transgender and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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