Category Archives: family

Loss and promise

Like the ocean, my experience of time comes in waves and tides. Some hours, days, weeks, even months have tumbled me in the break, leaving me in fear of being caught in its churning maelstrom as I struggle for gasps … Continue reading

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Week 146 – My Happy Childhood

[Content warning: physical and verbal abuse] Good It’s hard to remember the really good When good was the absence of bad And really bad taught you things you can’t forget – Heather Coldstream Earlier this year a friend pointed out … Continue reading

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Week 138 – Mom…

My mom and her live-in boyfriend are leaving for an extended trip next week so my kids and I went to spend some time with her. While I was there, she misgendered and deadnamed me, and wished me a happy … Continue reading

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Week 137 – All the Shit

The pee soaks into the carpet, and I cry. I cry tears of frustration because it was so preventable and unnecessary, and I feel like I have failed my child. I feel like this failure, tonight, is just the latest … Continue reading

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Week 135 – The Funeral

We buried the ashes of my aunt and uncle yesterday in a cemetery in the Napa Valley. She died a little over two weeks ago and he died twelve years ago. We had scattered some of his ashes in Puget … Continue reading

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Week 133 – Mom, mom, mom!

Last September I vented that my kids were calling me dad all the time. What a difference a few months makes! Now I almost always hear, “Mom, mom, mom!” when they’re trying to get my attention whether we’re at home … Continue reading

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Where have the words gone?

Writing, which has so often been a solace for me in trying times, has been so excruciating for me as late that I’ve almost all but abandoned it. I’m hoping it’s just a short slump instead of the years-long muteness … Continue reading

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