Category Archives: mental health

Broken

To be broken is to have been intact at some point, and I have no memory of being whole. I have memories of brief periods of time when I felt put together, but never have I not felt flawed. Maybe … Continue reading

Posted in gender transition, LGBT, mental health, observations, personal history, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

The Decision

Titanic arcs of lightning erupt from the electrodes like they are trying to split space and time. Each crackling surge of power zipper zig-zags towards me, rending the air into a nitrogen and oxygen plasma soup. The bass roar here … Continue reading

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The Work of Being Trans

Being trans is work, no matter where you are in your transition journey. Pre-transition, I spent vast amounts of energy attempting to compartmentalize away being trans and when that became impossible, juggling my inner and outer lives while going to … Continue reading

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Looking for Light

The fog hangs one hundred feet above the water like puffy filling between sea and sky. I can see it burning off in the distance, melting into invisibility under shafts of light. Towers of glass still in shroud look like … Continue reading

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Pushy Deadnaming

‘What was your name then?’ If you’ve changed your name, this question pops up now and again. I deflected. ‘That isn’t relevant.’ It isn’t in my trans job description to educate every person who asks me an inappropriate question about … Continue reading

Posted in counseling, gender transition, LGBT, mental health, personal history, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

What I tell myself when I’m having a bad moment

What I tell myself when I’m having a bad moment: Step back from the ledge. This broader world <waves hands> can really suck, but what about your internal world? Look how far you’ve come. You are Heather. You made it; … Continue reading

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A letter to Heather Coldstream, age 14

Dear Heather, Yesterday you had a life-changing insight and I know it scared the shit out of you. You are not losing your mind. Yes, you are a transsexual. In 2017 we mostly call ourselves transgender or trans for short. … Continue reading

Posted in clothing, coming out, community, family, friends, gender transition, hair, hair removal, HRT, mental health, personal history, safety, self-acceptance, transgender, transition, work | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments