Category Archives: observations

Happiness, the now, and the opportunity cost of time

Content warning: suicide Opportunity cost The loss of other alternatives when one alternative is chosen. – Oxford Dictionaries Being trans put me into a state of suspended time for years. I did many things that pushed me out of the … Continue reading

Posted in coming out, gender transition, LGBT, observations, personal history, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

OMG! (Deadname)!

One great thing about my new girlfriend is meeting her friends and expanding my social circle. My girlfriend’s best friend (GBF) lives in the Columbia City area of Seattle and we went down Friday night so I could meet GBF … Continue reading

Posted in coming out, friends, gender transition, LGBT, observations, personal history, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Meditations on belonging

Belonging is something I’m still working on. I still don’t know how being trans influences belonging. My first inkling I didn’t belong in a group was when I was around four years old. Most of my neighbors were girls and … Continue reading

Posted in coming out, gender transition, LGBT, observations, personal history, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The shifting sands of dysphoria

My experience with gender dysphoria has changed over the years. It first expressed itself in childhood as a diffuse desire to be like my grandmother and mother with regards to social roles. As puberty hit, it changed to an intense … Continue reading

Posted in coming out, gender transition, LGBT, observations, personal history, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The aperture of happiness

There was no light for parts of my gender journey. Darkness closed in around me as I struggled to figure out what to do. I felt my way along in the dark, bruising my shins and falling down hard a … Continue reading

Posted in coming out, gender transition, LGBT, observations, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

The ivy is choking you – week 180

English ivy is a noxious weed where I live and I hate it. It’s also a perfect fucking metaphor for gender dysphoria. Left alone to grow, its leaf cover and epiphytic roots will choke trees and understory plants and take … Continue reading

Posted in coming out, gender transition, observations, opinion, personal history, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Meditations on transmisogyny – Week 179

As a trans woman, having my humanity denied, debated, or outright denigrated can be hard to tease apart from baseline cultural misogyny. It might even be a unique offshoot of it. Around the world women struggle to be heard, to … Continue reading

Posted in activism, coming out, gender transition, LGBT, observations, opinion, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments