Category Archives: observations

Meditations on relationship regrets

I sorted through a box of old photos the other night. When I was done I had cried and laughed, dumped more than half, and I’ve been trying to shake the melancholy since. There were many pictures from my first … Continue reading

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Grab Bag

CW: transphobia, surgery I’m five years post-social transition and two years post-surgery, and compared to how things were for me five or ten years ago my life is fairly boring on the gender front. This, it should be noted, is … Continue reading

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8 Months Post-GCS

Content warning: graphic descriptions of vaginoplasty recovery, surgical care, biological processes, emotional distress, and sex. Eight months??? Has it already been eight months since I had surgery? For some reason I have it fixed in my brain I had surgery … Continue reading

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All the Feels

In the coming week, I’m having The Surgery and I have many intense feelings about it. Disbelief, fear, anticipation, relief, excitement, acceptance, and gratitude. Disbelief rides atop all. Am I really doing this? Is this really happening? Is this really … Continue reading

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Dating Culture Shock

Being trans and femme-attracted has made my dating pool severely smaller than it used to be and looking for love has been a cultural shock. It’s the experience of meeting for coffee on the first date and having the conversation … Continue reading

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Five Years of HRT

It will be five years of continuous estrogen therapy* for me on the 6th of February 2019. Over that span of time my body has changed shape to follow ancient pathways set by evolution, my emotions have shifted like sandbars … Continue reading

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Noisy Silences

The noisy silences of my life are filled with the rhythmic ticking of clocks tocking away on their cogs and the burbling waters of aquarium filters dancing above motor hums, and the more erratic and punctuated clinks of silverware upon … Continue reading

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The Transition Roller Coaster

My transition has been a roller coaster and I realized last night that the ride so far has been pretty darn close to the Gartner Hype Cycle, so I took a crack at visualizing it: Once I realized I was … Continue reading

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Do Cis People See Gender Counselors?

Do Cis People See Gender Counselors? A trans man friend of mine is planning to come out to his extended family as part of a brief holiday visit over Christmas and he’s getting a case of the nerves. He lives … Continue reading

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Pussy Pondering Produces Penetrating Perception

She moves towards me, seeking my warmth and skin. My heat, a low simmer, moves closer to a full boil and it is almost too much. Almost. How has this beautiful woman come to be in my bed? It seems … Continue reading

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