Category Archives: personal history

Pussy Pondering Produces Penetrating Perception

She moves towards me, seeking my warmth and skin. My heat, a low simmer, moves closer to a full boil and it is almost too much. Almost. How has this beautiful woman come to be in my bed? It seems … Continue reading

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Broken

To be broken is to have been intact at some point, and I have no memory of being whole. I have memories of brief periods of time when I felt put together, but never have I not felt flawed. Maybe … Continue reading

Posted in gender transition, LGBT, mental health, observations, personal history, self-acceptance, transgender, transition | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Looking on the Bright Side

Being trans can be rough and even dangerous but it’s not always doom and gloom. I’ve whined about my life here quite a bit and even I get tired of hearing myself whine. So, here are some good things about … Continue reading

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Waiting Room

My navigation app guides me north from San Jose to Burlingame on the 101. My appointment is at 3 pm and even though traffic is light, I’m concerned I might be late because I dawdled at my hotel. I speed … Continue reading

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Shut up, anxiety

I am up before the sun, before even the furnace awakens from its slumber to heat the house and I have slept maybe four hours. My anxiety, which procrastinated away last night’s hours in a movie, laundry, dishes, updating my … Continue reading

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RIP Chris Cornell

The partially tied, empty boots are at the bottom of the glass case. Above them a headless dummy wears jeans below and layers up top; a white t-shirt, a hoodie, a jacket with ripped cuffs. A thick metal chain with … Continue reading

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The Work of Being Trans

Being trans is work, no matter where you are in your transition journey. Pre-transition, I spent vast amounts of energy attempting to compartmentalize away being trans and when that became impossible, juggling my inner and outer lives while going to … Continue reading

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