If there is the slightest possibility you think you are a trans woman, you should start transition.
There is no ‘trans enough’ standard you have to meet to transition. There is no ‘standard transition’ you need to follow. There is only the path of being honest with yourself.
Be honest. Transition.
Trans people lie to themselves. Over and over we lie to ourselves. We lie to ourselves about hanging in there, about enduring the life not lived, about shutting down our desires, about pretending to be the men we aren’t.
We lie to others. Over and over we lie to others. We lie that we can control it, that it’ll be the last time, that we don’t really need it, that of course we’re men.
Each falsehood is another layer obscuring ourselves from ourself and others. Layer after layer we wrap around ourselves, distorting our shape and place in the world. We cocoon ourselves in closets of lies, slowly and quickly suffocating to death.
Stop lying. Transition.
Every minute you delay is a minute of the future you cheat yourself out of, so don’t waste any time because you don’t know how much time you have left. Transition.
Yes, there will be gatekeepers and other people in your life that will do their best and worst to dissuade, slow, and stop you. This is the case with anything you do in life that makes other people uncomfortable. Transition.
Yes, it can be scary. Growth and risk are scary. To not grow or be scared means you are accepting a life with dwindling options. One day you will run out of options and be forced into change instead of self-directing it. Transition.
Yes, you may lose some family and friends. You will be better off without them, even if it really hurts. People in your life that only practice conditional love cannot be relied upon. Transition.
Yes, it can be expensive, so start saving money now. Trade a luxury for a necessity. Create a budget. Stick to it. Budget for transition so you can transition.
Most of you should start to have your beard removed. It will take a very long time and you will want as much gone as possible by the time of your social transition. Hair removal is cumulative, so every little bit adds up. Every electrolysis or laser session will take you closer to the moment you won’t have to do it any more.
Buy clothes at thrift stores at first. You’ll save money in the long run and it’s an inexpensive way to search for your style. If you do shop department or other stores, shop the sale rack first. Buying at the end of a season for use next year can save a lot of money. Your body shape will change once you start hormones, so avoid buying any expensive clothes until most of the changes have taken effect.
Hormones are not a panacea and everyone responds to them differently. Study up so you know what to expect. Missing or delaying a dose is not the end of the world.
Surgical interventions are like repairing a dinged up car. It’ll make the car look better and you may feel better about driving it around in public, but even with the dings, it still takes you places. Keep in mind that once the car’s been repaired, you still need to figure out where you want to drive it. Plan your trip accordingly.
Transition solves for gender dysphoria only. Non gender-related problems you had before transition will still be there after you transition. But without having to worry about the gender dysphoria, you’ll have a whole bunch more mental space to address them.
Post-transition, you’ll wonder why you waited. You’ll wonder why you made it out to be such a big deal. You’ll wonder how you made it through life trying to live as a guy. You’ll likely be happier, more relaxed, and see the world differently.
Or not. It seems to depend on what you bring with you through the process.
But don’t wait to the point of regret. Waiting for the best time to transition is like waiting for the best time to get out of an abusive relationship. Transition.
Don’t wait. Transition.
You will thank yourself.
(P.S. – Transition.)